Artist Sacred Dancer Author
Mama of Sanctuary Forest Garden
Mama of Sanctuary Forest Garden
Setting Clear Boundary? What is that?
Boundary has emerged as a theme for my own personal journey in both my personal and professional development over the last 11 years. Raised as an Asian and having lived abroad in Europe, I have worked with clients from different cultures and countries, many of us suffer from burn out, extreme exhaustion, having barely any energy left or even motivated to do anything at the end of a day's work or having to fulfil and pushed ourselves to meet the demands life is taking us, whether it is personal, social or professional. What is alarming is most are not even aware of it or see it. I was one of them.
Especially being an Asian, I am raised to put other people's need first before myself, so do I see it in many parents, clients, professionals. Often, each one of us ends up being angry, frustrated, irritated, stressed, annoyed... including myself or depressed. Sound familiar? Because we fail to meet our own needs but only others. If we are not well ourselves, how can we give to others in the first place fully in presence and with our heart? I am not saying this is a bad value. There is no right or wrong in a value. It is more of in what context do we use it and how do we use it?
I see this value taught by my parents and in the Asian culture valuable. However I think how the way we are being ingrained and inculcated can be very unhealthy. After contemplating, I value this imparted value as in having respect for each other as well as self-respect. In fact, this value has led me to advocate person-centred care approach based on love-based rather than fear-based in my programmes, training and ministry after healing the unhealthy aspect of self and claiming the healthy aspect of self. Often what I witness is we tend to gear to one extreme. This is only one of the examples I'm sharing here. Because I am exposed to both the Asian and Western cultures, I have experienced the 'we' (tribe) and 'I' (individual). They are valuable and how do we then integrate these two into our life and work.
Some may ask:
Is it truly a question of not being able to manage our time well?
Yes and No.
I have played with managing my time and organising myself well. I come to see that it is more than just managing time. It is about whether we are taking too much or putting too much on our plates. We often push ourselves to do, telling ourselves we MUST do it. This kind of mindset is not healthy but also not loving to ourselves and also not to others. Why I say not to others? Because what we do is not out of love or joy but more of obligation, duty, guilt... When we are innately motivated, it is effortless and we feel lots of love and joy in what we do. This is what happens to me. I literally feel the huge difference in my whole being when it is a push or a flow.
During these last 2 years, I dive deeper into the theme boundary setting. As I have shared in my earlier blog post, my body literally shut down on me one day. I know something was amiss. As I dive deeper into silence, solitude, contemplation and in Authentic Movement, the unconscious materials surface and the conscious materials become more and more clear, crystal clear. In the process, I become more and more acute in tuning to my body, mind, emotions, sensations and connecting deeply with my soul, some may call it inner guidance, some, intuition, gut feelings... They truly help me to navigate my life, in decision making, especially setting clear boundary that is both loving to myself and to others.
As I pay more attention and allow myself to listen, I discover the keys to living a happier live-work balance as I set clear boundary in both my personal and profession life. I have been in this theme homeostasis for a long time, wondering is it ever possible? Now I can say 'YES' to you after walking my own journey.
Each one of us is different. It is a journey for you to discover what works and what does not work for you. Where is your threshold. What is your boundary. How to embody active listening to yourself. I have helped clients in exploring and empowering them tools that they can apply in their daily life. To witness them being empowered and now living a happier life-work balance, it is my deepest and greatest joy. Yes it is possible to have a happier life-work balance. It is about understanding and setting clear boundary for yourself.
Do you want to have a happier life-work balance?
Come and join me in my workshop in Singapore!
I am offering a one day workshop Embodied Active Listening - Setting Clear Boundary in Singapore where I empower you with tools to apply them in your daily life to live a happier life-work balance.
Check my schedule on my website.
Have a read on my client's testimony.
Shalom! Blessings! Love To you!