Mirror Mirror on the Wall...

Mirror mirror on the wall... who am I?

'Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who is the fairest of them all?'

​We are familiar of this story of Snow White and the 7 dwarfs.

​What was the reaction of the stepmother when she heard the answer?  When the truth is revealed, she could hardly bear it, filled with rage, she wanted to get rid of Snow White. It was just because she was not the fairest of them all.  Do you find this is very true in our world?  The first reaction is to get rid of?  

​How many of us can swallow the truth?
How many can face the truth without feeling the pain inside?
​How many when hearing the truth, we get goose bumps or chills running through our spines?
​How many when hearing the truth, move to tears and fill with gratitude that someone resonates the truth?

​Yes I can go on and on again.  I question a lot.  It is this gift of questioning that help me to ponder deeply about life.  It is actually the gift we all have. Have you ever heard a child asking non-stop questions?  It is because they are curious, inquisitive and trying to understand and make sense of what is going on around them and in them.  

​I ask myself a lot of questions, but I learn it does not mean I have the answers to them.  And I do not need to have the answer right away.  It will be in its time.  I trust it will unfold in its own good time. 

Questioning is an open gate to our heart where we are ready for what is unconscious to surface to our consciousness and becoming more aware.  Instead of being asleep like Anthony De Mello often wrote in his books, but being awakened, allowing ourselves to be awakened, to be awake. 

Just observe a chid.  They inquire by questioning with openness, curiosity, you see their eyes open wide, searching, wondering, with awe and wonder about the world around them, not judging.  How many of us have stopped asking questions? Or maybe we've been silenced when we asked questions as a child? 

I always ask for example in regards to a belief system: 
Is it true?
Is it helping me?
Is it useful?
Is it hindering me?
Is it unhealthy?
Is it serving me?
To name a few.
​
To take a step deeper if you are in a role of a teacher, therapist, facilitator, minister, spiritual director...  

​How to speak the truth.
How to speak the truth from a place of unconditional love.

​If I have not gone through the painful lessons of being shamed and also hear the truth from a place of love, I would not be able to write, share, help and train others in my work and ministry.  I have to walk it, contemplate, heal and listen deeply all these years in my journey.  I make a very conscious choice to do so.  I am grateful for all the resources that these authors have researched, walked it and healed themselves in their own journey.  To name a few, Brene Brown has researched on 'Shame'.  I have studied Non-Violent Communication by Marshal Rosenberg with Sr Rosalie to better understand the language of non violence.  I have been in this process for a very long time on understanding the choices of words we used.  How I can use words that heal, edify, comfort, soothe, encourage, inspire... and from a place of love, not shaming and judging.  I see why I could not write and journal many years ago because I had not found the words. I did not have the vocabulary, the language of love. 

​Healing myself from the overexposure of a world full of violent languages to non-judgemental love, I take time out to heal self in the presence of loving compassionate beings.  The research last year and training my learners on person-centred care approach led me to immerse deeply in my reflection process.  Tom Kitwood's work with dementia is based on person-centred care.  The core of his approach is love.   Arriving home to my true self is also love.   I now teach and advocate LOVE.  Unconditional Love. 

Let's go back to mirror mirror on the wall... ... 

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, are we wearing mask or are we in our authentic self?  We all wear masks, are we aware?  Mask of a professional identity, title, status, role...  When we bear our skin or our soul, who are we really?

I like what my DMT teacher Jeanette MacDonald did with us during our training. She gave us a blank mask to design our own mask.  We danced wearing our mask and pulling it off when we wanted to.  The act of pulling our mask off was such a powerful metaphor. Who am I? Who am I truly? Without name, without identity, without titles, without roles... This dynamic group process was so powerful and left a very deep impression in me, questioning who am I really, truly.  I see that it has acted as a catalyst further in my search all these years in finding my true self.  It is about 'shedding off' the masks we are wearing, understanding what are the learned conditioned unhealthy beliefs we've been taught... ...

What does this mask mean for you?
What has this mask done for you?

Maybe this mask has added as a hiding place, a safety net. 
Maybe this mask has prevented you from being you, masking who you truly are.

Mirror mirror on the wall ... ...
What mask am I wearing?
What mask do I need to shed?
​So that I can be my true authentic self.