Loving my 'Home'

How beautiful the early Winter morning is. Captured by Jeroen.

The love song of bird in the Winter morning,
Lights up my heart with gladness & gratitude.
The Wild in our Sanctuary Forest Wild Garden continues to teach me about 'Home'. 

Recovering from a cold hit by the cold winter weather. I went through a very intense two weeks. The week to Christmas and New Year.  Jeroen and I made a clear decision to have a quiet time this Christmas and New Year. We turned down an invitation of our 70s year old couple's friend New Year Eve's invitation, to close and welcome the New Year over the fire with my drum, leading the group. I just had no energy. That day itself I fell sick. Whether I knew it intuitively that I was going to fall sick, that does not matter. For us, we wanted a quiet time for self and as couple together. For once, we were assertive on our decision together. Though we love our friend very much and they asked for help, we needed to rest and recuperate from the intensive year 2019.  It was good. 

It had been hard for me. Our house is breaking down unexpectedly part by part, more and more and the cold air in the house was so cold. The sink gets jammed. The hot water bath runs hot and cold water. The whole house was very cold. It was so expensive to heat up the house with the CV heater the whole day as it is old and inefficient with gas. We find temporary solutions to manage with the Winter cold air. I was irritated, frustrated and gets angry easily. The cold air became too much for me at times in my body. In the end, I fell sick.

I wonder to myself, 'Did I regret moving here?'
'No'.  

I was under the weather since Autumn hits when it gets colder and colder. It did not help when J was not around in the night for two weeks every week. I felt blue. However, the Wild in the Nature always cheers me up. They drop love notes whenever I was down. 

Last night, I was up the whole night, listening to the strong wind, blowing. Coffee kept me awake. Whenever this happened, I always ended up in prayer, saying my rosary, going inward in silence, laying on my bed. I sensed a shift in me - I hear God in the wind, whistling love song. A gratitude swept me over. I rest in my beloved God's love. 

Waking up with a sense of gratitude and gladness, I find myself breaking into a song with these 3 words - 'Loving my Home'.

I wrote about 'Coming Home - Body, Soul and House'.

And Yes I come home, this time to my house.
Grateful for the shelter over my head, 
Grateful for the forest garden,
Grateful for the Wild.

Though there is a lot needed to be done,
the whole process awakens me to love my home, my house.
To build our house in the way we want,
A home that calls our own.

A house that is eco-friendly,
Loving to ourselves,
Loving to the Nature.

I shed  my wall again.
Awaken deeper
now to my dwelling home
Loving our House.

I come to see
When I go through the process of deeply loving myself,
the Way I grow and build my home, our house also becomes loving to the Nature.
Growing a Home for the Wild as we grow our home for ourselves.

How the way we are going to do it and what we are going to use, we become mindful of how it affects not just to us but also to the Nature and our Sister, Mother Earth. Jeroen has a huge shift too. If both of us do not shift, or just me alone, we cannot move forward to growing and build our Forest Garden Home. Thus, the awakening has to first begin with self. The process began already in our old house - loving our old house, letting it go and saying goodbye. Never did I know that the process continues with our new house. Thank you, Nita, for her accompainment all these while as I walk my journey. 

Our Sanctuary Forest Wild Garden 2019, created by Jeroen.