Going Inward? Self-Absorption?

Does going inward into self become self-absorption?

I have a chat with one of the participants after the 'Transpersonal Dance Movement Psychotherapy session on Embodied Active Listening on Setting Clear Boundary' on Sunday.  She asked, 'Does going inward into self become self-absorption?'

​I love her question.  I paused for a moment before I replied her.  On the contrary, through my own experiences and processes, going inward actually brings me to become consciously aware of the interconnection with the universe instead of self-absorption.  I shared.  If we go inward and become self-centred, and not grow in love, we ask how is that so? The idea of self-love has been confused with self-centredness and self-absorption.  It takes me many years to process and understand what is unconditional love and self-love.  

Connecting deeply within self, going inward, to love, for me to God (Divine), opens my heart even more with love not only just with self but also with others.  I gradually grow in non-judgemental love first towards self and I find my heart extends to others.  It is an on-going journey.  Peeling the layers over layers do not happen overnight but the commitment to making time and space to be in silence. In my case, in solitude, in contemplation, with God and self.  I come to see silence as the essence I need in life for survival especially being a human in the world. Silence allows me to navigate at the heart and soul level and to connect with self and love in me.  

​Over the past 2 years and more, as I embrace and embody silence more and more, slowing down, be-ing, and listening within in every moment, I am more grounded.  I can even catch myself which is so subtle when I judge, feeling anxious, or sensing my defence mechanism wall in my body, to name a few.  When any of this arises, I look into and within with love:

​- What is going on within me? 
​- What is happening?
​In a much deeper level. 

​Non-judgemental love also means loving every part of self. 

Is it painful to look within?
​Yes. 

​I find I no longer stay there for a long time in pain, for example. As I allow myself to heal, grief, cry, and let God's love embrace me, I find my pain melts away and the layer melts away.  I allow pain to speak to me.  Arises deep gratitude and love within.

​At the bodily level, I can sense a shift inside. 
Embodied. Naturally. Organically. 
My body (include my heart) always signals to me.

Nita's guidance and supervision enable me to listen more deeply within my body and soul. 

​Whatever choices I make these days are more conscious.  It includes personal self-care and boundary setting.  I embody the art of living a more balanced life-work now.  And not forgetting, we do err at times, because we are human. And the beauty of it, we can learn more about self.  Letting the unconscious layer to unfold over time.  Again, the journey to me is about being kind, gentle, compassionate and loving towards self.  Forgiving and loving self even we make a mistake and let love heal and melt away the hardness in us.