Becoming Fully Human

My husband and I wake up to a beautiful Sunday Winter morning. Being human, life can be beautiful. Only if we see it.

Life is truly a journey.
​A journey of becoming and being human.
​A journey of loving self deeply.

My conversation with my mummy over the wat app inspires me to write my blog.
This is not the first time it happens.

When I go inwardly more and more, listening to self and loving self, 
I embrace who I am fully as a human.
I am a human with a body, heart, mind and soul, intertwined together. 
​
I come to embrace and love my gifts where at first many always question and 'frown upon'.
Even to the point, I thought I was wired so weirdly and strangely.
I am so thankful and grateful that I am in the first place wired in this way as I shared with my husband, Jeroen over breakfast.

One of the innate gifts I have is 'Questioning'. An innate gift I have since I was a little girl.
In fact, in the development phase of a child, at 4 years old inwards, the child will question non-stop and ask a lot of questions.
I also don't know how I have this gift. How it comes about. It is no longer important or matters.
All I know is that this gift has gifted me to go very deeply in my own process with myself in life.

Without this innate questioning gift and transforming this gift, I would not have been able to understand what it is to be fully human. I love Jean Vanier's book 'Becoming Human'. 

How this questioning gift has become so naturally for me. Every event, encounter, moment is a pure life lesson for me. Before that, I drove myself crazy with so many questions because I wanted to know the answers immediately. But now, I question and let the question evolves and not having the need to want to know the answers right away. I allow myself to be in the flow and let the questions come and let the questions evolve and soon, I see the life lessons has to offer for me. 

If I have not returned to contemplation, I would probably still drive myself nuts with all the questions in my head. Yes, at the intellectual level, that is, I am not listening to my body and heart.  Contemplation allows me to be, to let it be. To trust my own process. To flow to my body, and my heart.  

These days, I sense the flow where I no longer fight with my mind. I would at times. To embody takes time, years and commitment. I find the ease, the flow, more and more where my mind, body and heart are flowing as one. Some says it is intuition, guts feeling. I do not have to think very hard nor have to find the words to say it. When I do, I block the flow inside me, to listen inwardly and letting the flow move freely. When I just be and allow it be, I find myself just listening to what is going on inside me. I feel my whole being connected inside. Being guided intuitively.

In conclusion, I return to my intuition. 

We, all, have intuition. We lost it as we grow up. 

Intuition for me is my inner compass.
Intuition is where my soul speaks.
Intuition is where God speaks.
There is no one right way to explain or can explain it.

I just know it intuitively.
My husband will always ask me how do I know the truth?

How do I know?
I just know.
I feel it in my gut.
I feel it deep inside me.
I just know.

Before we can see or want to see the truth,
first the walls building over the years has to crumpled down.
They block us from seeing the truth 
and also to return to our intuition,
we are gifted with.

I took years, many years. 
I began my walk already since as a little girl.

It is never too late to begin when we are first awakened.
I told my husband.
It is a matter of choice, a decision, we make to ourselves.
A commitment to self.

The first step is to say a whole heartedly commitment 'Yes' to self.
And we will be guided what to do next.

All it comes to:
​
'Are you willing to say 'Yes' first to self?'