Artist Sacred Dancer Author
Spiritual Mother Gardener
Mama of Sanctuary Forest Wild Garden
Spiritual Mother Gardener
Mama of Sanctuary Forest Wild Garden
We can slow down
if we desire.
Sometimes, we can get caught up in the rush,
that we forget to slow down,
to be in the presence and enjoy the moment.
Or notice or aware of the little wonders in life, in front of us.
Listening within inwardly has led me to slow down. Taking time to contemplate deepen my attunment to myself and my surrounding naturally. Though I'm hypersensitive as a person, taking time off, into hibernation, gives me time to breathe, space to slow down in everything I do, in cooking, in gardening, in crocheting, in cleaning... whenever I slow down, sitting in the presence, in the moment, I naturally go inward, listening within, and attune within. Every thing I do now has become a contemplative action unless I unconsciously get caught up in the rush.
When I do, my body will react, and I get triggers, and when I pay attention to the reaction my body signals and triggers, my body always telling me that I'm crossing my boundary again.
Over the last 7 years of travelling up and down for my work, in my professional field, the nature of my work, though I took good care of myself, (as self-care is a huge theme for me), adding to the heaviness of the illnesses and death of my heavenly mother and father-in-law, I cannot not acknowledge the compassion fatigue I am recovering now. The accumulation of giving has taken a toil on me. I am exhausted, very tired. The move this year also did not help to lessen the hectic fatigue in me. A clear discernment came for me is to take totally time off from family, friends, work next year in Sabbatical to deeply rest in my new home and doing what I love. I miss out on life on doing what I truly love as in cooking and gardening and to slow down even more. Now I own and claim this for myself especially in 2020 with my husband, Jeroen. For him to fully be at home now that he no longer needs to travel to work every week for almost 3 hours and only come home on Wednesday evening till weekend. We are moving to a more regular stable rhythm together again.
I discover the wonders of slowing cooking on the wood stove. I simply love it! I enjoy the food cooks in a constant slow pace and such a joy to watch the wood burning in the stove, at the same time, keeping us warm and cooking food over the stove. It can be very cold up here and can fall below zero degree. The house is old and not well-isolated yet. So it's freaking cold at times! I homemade my food a lot from scratch as I return to homemade cooking. It is not just the freshness. The cutting of just the sprouts is always contemplative for me. I purely enjoy playing with the ingredients and exploring cooking.
Homemade food has increasingly given me the embodiment of slowing down with myself other than my gardening. I think my life has come to a place of everything I do is a contemplation.
Contemplation is not necessary has to be still, in silence and not moving. Sometimes, I skip into a dance, sing a tune, a conversation with the Wild while gardening... is a pure contemplation joy for me! For me, contemplation is about being in the presence moment consciously aware of myself, of what is going on around me and noticing what goes within me and outer. Slowing down gives me the art to contemplate, to be aware of God within and outer whether in the Nature, in the Wild or in a person. I can miss it if I am not fully presence with myself in the moment.
How slowing down also encourages me to go with my creativity and flow in the moment with new inspiration.
I embody listening more and more, deeper and deeper. All these years, I made the choice to deepen in it as in Authentic Movement for a few years and contemplation retreats and training with Nita. Now I find myself fully in embodiment naturally without effort, with ease and flow naturally. I plan much less and go with the flow on the day itself. I listen within and also to my Forest Wild Garden. I rearranged the fallen trees branches along the edge, first to prevent soil erosion and gradually over time, created a Sanctuary fortress for the Wild, a home where the Wild can nest, rest, sleep espeically in the soon approaching winter. I see frogs jump in, mouse crawls in, bird (wren) flies in and out and even a squirrel, sitting on it, eating his nuts, enjoying the new created fortress I create over the past 9 months living here, consciously mindful that I want to create a warm natural home for the Wild. I move with inspiration and it just happens while I listen and go with the flow within. The Sanctuary fortress just emerges. (BTW, the squirrel, Jeroen calls him our invisible pet, living inside our house, we hear him all the time, rolling nuts, in the night. It is so hilarious! I even found nuts in my shoes on 4 occasions. A colleague of his joked that the squirrel must pay rent to us. Jeroen said, 'He did! With the nut place in my wife's shoe! Hahahahaha...my funny husband!)
Sometimes, I do feel blue. I am still a human. However, the Wild always cheers me on and come by to say hello unexpectedly while I worked in our forest garden. Red robin flew by on 3 occasions, super up close, looking at me. Wren sings me a tune nearby. Many wonders just happen. Our Wild, my babies, hear me especially when I feel blue (because there's a lot of hard work and to discover the amount of conrete stones and trash in the soil is a 'nightmare' and we've been trying to clear them to prepare to put the solar panel on the spot.) Whatever challenges or obstacles I encounter, they taught me valuable lessons, taught me much about life, about myself. The forest always finds me if I let her and I am always been found and embraced with her LOVE! Always! As a mama of our Sanctuary Forest Wild Garden, I love my forest and my babies - the Wild. I enjoy the freedom I receive and the freedom I want to bring to them. It's always a mutual relationship. We mutually receive and give and never once it's one -sided. Bless very bless to be now living with the WIld in our Forest Garden home. So to slow down has become an art for me, the art to live my life.
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Shalom! Blessings! Love To you!